Political Parties

Written by Kashif Hussain

British Politics

Political parties in the UK are more level-headed than ever and with the rise of the UKIP party, the two-party system is ceasing to exist. I’ve decided to explore the parties using this quirky method. Enjoy!


Firstly it’s important to understand that there is a common goal amongst parties, they all want:

  • Economy boost and
  • Social Development i.e crime reduction, increased employment, etc.

But the manner in getting there differ. Let me explain…

The Labour Party are like teenagers, they want goodness for all and support the working class. They look to boost the vulnerable in society by increasing the funding of social and civil services like the NHS, education and welfare benefits. But like teenagers, they don’t focus so much on the future, they take each day as it comes. They appear to have no sense of real responsibility, they spend, spend and spend and sooner, like teenagers, they realise the hole they’ve created- and now they have a huge debt. The teenager then loses his job so can’t pay or manage any finances so he borrows more but can’t pay back. He’s ruined his credit score and now can’t buy a house. Likewise, the Labour Party fell in a deep hole after the 2008 recession, this was due to their irresponsibility; eventually, although Brown managed to hold the country together, the Labour Party were ousted!

The Conservative Party are like parents, they think ahead and wants what’s best for the nation i.e. the family. Parents tend to plan long term, they think about the future, so the present sometimes becomes inert. They prefer to reap the benefits of hard work later, this is normally a holiday abroad- in other words the Conservatives accept a few proposals by the public i.e gay marriage. Parents can be harsh and seem out of touch with children- children that have needs and desires and don’t want to be neglected. Parents see their life from a different perspective, they give them as much as they need and push them to develop themselves as oppose to spoon feeding them. Likewise the Conservative Party may be cutting on vital services and benefits but their intention is to get us all working and earning, that way we won’t rely on state benefits.

The Liberal Democrats are like grandparents, they want to support the young and vulnerable. The Lib Dems are seen as soft-hearted; their policies focus on the individual so become very attractive. Just think about your Grandma giving you them fivers, makes you wanna go back for some more. But deep down, dishing out fivers just to put a smile on your face may not be the way forward. The British Public may need a push here and there, but once you start relying on help and the extra fiver, one day there will be no fiver. And you’ll have to face life alone. The Lib Dems failed to provide cuts in tuition fees, a pledge like that is irrevocable. However the Lib dems do seem like the balance between Labour and Conservative, they look towards fairness.

UKIP is the step parent that wants radical change. The new dad in the home is outside of the bubble and sees the family from another perspective. He identifies the main problems and looks to fix them, but in the process gets lost. And, evidently, once his concerns are dealt with, he barely cares any further nor knows how to deal with other major issues. Farage is getting influence over the British People by scaremongering techniques, people feel awakened by him and have declared loyalty to the UKIP. But sooner, the British public will realise, his policies are not viable and not thought of very well.

At the present moment the UKIP want controlled immigration and want to establish UK sovereignty by cutting ties with the EU. There are many benefits for both policies and are very much liked, for this reason Farage is liked too. But everyone loves a step dad at first, its all smiles. Then true colours appear, there’s no going back then. The kids are neglected i.e working class and the wife is cherished i.e people who matter i.e big businesses (remember the UKIP  want Britain to stand tall and mighty, this will only happen if the economy is boosted and that is by supporting big businesses).

The Green Party are your inner good – Although you may not get the benefits that you want directly, with Greens, you know they want a sustainable society. Their policies are based on the greater good of the UK.

The BNP are your inner bad – Within us all we want belonging and citizenship. It is so dear to us that if we feel threatened by someone trying taking it away, we want to get rid of them people. The BNP feel like ethnic minorities are taking over so rally to kick them out. 

political parties

Check out these links to know more:

Want to know which party you are: https://www.politicalcompass.org/test

BBC Manifesto guide – Ina  nutshell: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election/2015/manifesto-guide

Election website aimed at young people: http://www.leagueofyoungvoters.co.uk/

Bite the Ballot debate with major political figures and more: http://bitetheballot.co.uk/leaders-live/


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